Parenting Perspective: Being Happy with the Cup 3/4 full

"Happiness or unhappiness is often a matter of choice."

       --unknown

Our skies turned gray and we had several days of cooler temperatures and rain here in Arizona this week.  

Living somewhere that the sun shines almost all the time, I truly enjoy the change of cloudy, rainy days.

So, when I struggled with feelings of sadness a couple of days this week, I knew I couldn't attribute it to the weather.  In fact, I knew precisely what was making me sad.  You see, I have four wonderful children, who I love dearly, but one of my children (who I rarely mention on the blog - at his request) has made choices that have taken him far away from those of us who love him, and that was the reason for my sadness.  As a mother of four, to have one of my kids separate himself from the family, is like having a quarter of my heart ripped away.  It hurts every day - no matter the weather - sunshine or rain.  

Last week, when that sadness that only a mother can feel hit me, I made the conscious choice to remember that I still have a good husband, three wonderful, loving children (who are making good decisions and are close at heart) and six fun and delightful grandchildren.  Truly, even with one piece of my life missing, my cup is more than 3/4 full.  It is for my husband, children, grandchildren and especially for myself, that I need to overcome the down days and make the deliberate decision to be happy, each and every day.  With that in mind, I decided to concentrate on doing things that make me happy!

I started out with a few pieces of dark chocolate, since scientists have proven that "dark chocolate helps to release serotonin and relaxes the blood vessels of the cardiovascular system."  Read more about that here. 

I sent "thinking of you" texts to some of my favorite people...

and enjoyed receiving the responses.  

I read a light and lovely Amish Christmas book.  I love reading Amish stories where the characters solve their problems with family, friends and faith.  Nothing depressing about that at all.

I worked on getting the Christmas cards ready to go in the mail right after Thanksgiving.  Thinking about all of the wonderful friends we have made across the country over the years, and still stay in touch with, always makes me happy.

I got several assignments ahead in my online class and indexed some records for familysearch.org. Getting a few assignments ahead relieves stress and indexing history records is something I find immensely interesting and relaxing. 

I spent some time in the kitchen talking to my sweet husband while he baked this tasty Pecan Pie.  Even after 34 years, we still talk and plan the future like we did when we were first married.

All of these things made me feel warm and happy inside this week and have helped me feel grateful for all the members of my family and the ups and downs, joys and pains of motherhood and family life.  With that gratitude, I can share my warmth and happiness with my husband and all of my children - even the one who doesn't feel warm toward me right now.  

"Happiness is not the absence of problems, but the ability to deal with them." 

         --Stacey Charter

Wrapping Up a Busy Week

The time since my last post has been filled with many things - some more significant than others, but all part of day-to-day life for our family.

Joshua played his final Tuesday night soft-ball game on his church team.  Since he will be 18 in June, he will be too old to play next season.  He surely has enjoyed the fellowship of the guys on the team and their leaders, who are amazing, dedicated men and great role-models for the boys.  This weekend, all the teens from church are participating in a two day "Youth Conference" activity.  It started yesterday afternoon at 4 p.m. with games and food at a nearby park.  The fun continued all night as the kids had an "indoor campout" at their leader's homes. Saturday morning, they were up bright and early doing a service project, followed by a more spiritual activity at the Mesa Temple. The weekend activity rounds out tonight with a dance.   As a parent, I am so appreciative of the youth leaders of our church, including our bishop, who spend countless hours helping these teens grow in every way.  

I love comfort food in the fall. This was a really good, simple recipe for Shepard's Pie, that I hope to share on "Try A New Recipe  Tuesday" so stayed tuned!

Josh is taking a cooking class this semester and one night he asked if he could fix dinner.  He chose to fix scrambled eggs with cheese and chili powder. They were good.  I fixed some bacon and pancakes and we had breakfast for dinner - a Jones family favorite!

The weather this week was warm and beautiful.  I found this unexpected flower on a cactus in the front yard.

I walked outside early one morning and saw this beautiful sunrise.

 

If you have been reading my blog for any length of time, you know that I absolutely love sunrises and sunsets.

This one was one of the most gorgeous sunrises I have ever seen.

We have been going through  things at our house with thoughts of getting rid of some items and collections we've been holding on to for a long time.  If we eventually downsize to a smaller home, all on one level, it will be helpful not to have so much "stuff."  Charly has decided to sell the comic book collection he has had for years and years.  He hasn't been actively adding to it for some time now, but he has a lot of comics from his younger days and he has kept them in excellent condition though many moves over the years.  He spent a lot of time this week sorting through and cataloging what he has.

He found a buyer for the collection, but now he has to pack everything up and get it sent out.  It is a big job that isn't finished yet. 

I have spent quite a bit of time this week finishing lessons and activities in my new online class about teaching students who struggle with mathematics.  What a great course for an English teacher!  Seriously, it is giving me some things to think about and some ideas that I might be able to translate into my own subject area.  I am trying to get ahead in the lessons because, frankly, I am getting kind of burned out with these online classes and I need a break.  Once I finish this one, I won't begin another until January, so I am anxious to get done. 

Also this week, I got going on Christmas planning in earnest, ordering family pictures for the Christmas cards, and several gifts for Charly, Josh and my daughters.  Seems I am getting most of gifts online this year, which is very convenient, although I would prefer to spend my Christmas budget locally. Sometimes, when life gets busy, convenience wins out.

Finally, I did take some time to read this week.  When things get a bit challenging/busy/stressful around here, reading is my outlet and my source of relaxation. Neither of these books were particularly light reads since one deals with the kidnapping, abuse and captivity of a 14-year-old girl and the other is a woman's story of her personal experience of being in and recovering from the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center.  Both books however, were stories of how these strong woman overcame horrible experiences and found peace and healing through their faith and reliance on God.  I would recommend both books.  Read my entire Goodreads reviews here and here.

Today, Charly is in a all-day class, and Josh is participating in the Youth Conference I wrote about above, so I have the day to myself.  Lots to do, but I do plan to take some "me" time today. Hope you get some time to yourself today too!  Have a good weekend and enjoy the week ahead!

The Stuff I'm REALLY Thankful For

November, the official month of being thankful, is upon us.  As I have read the posts of others in blogland and on face book, I have been thinking about my own thankful list - you know, that stuff I'm really thankful for; the stuff that has changed my life and made me who I am.  I have realized that the stuff I am really thankful for, isn't stuff at all.  It's lessons, experiences, strengths and weaknesses, joys, struggles and even pain, and the people associated with it all, that have been the greatest blessings of my life.  Here are just a few of these things I am most thankful for and the people who gave me these gifts.

Being Thankful.  My mom taught me to always say thank you and mean it.  Everyone wants to feel appreciated, even for small things, and my mother was always one to let people know she appreciated even the smallest kindness.  She taught me to do the same.  

Being Spiritually Minded.  My mom taught me to pray every day.  We prayed before every meal and every night before going to bed.  She taught me to go to church, every week, even when it was inconvenient, or boring, or there was something else I'd rather do.  Watching her, I learned to go every week, put my best into it and get the best out of it - oh yeah, and sing every hymn.  

Being Conscientious. My dad taught me to work hard, do my best and put my best foot forward in every thing I did.  He taught me that every school assignment and any kind of application or official form be it job, college, scholarship or even loan applications must be impeccably neat and as perfect as possible.  If I could put a dollar value on it, that one piece of advice would literally be worth a small fortune.

Being a Believer in and a Follower of Christ.  My grandma taught me to love the scriptures and the stories and counsel contained therein. She was my first introduction to the stories of the Bible. She read the scriptures and lived the precepts Jesus taught every day.  She was the real deal.

Being Literate. My first grade teacher taught me to read.  I'm sure this kind woman, has been gone a long time now, but I will always be grateful that she taught me to phonetically sound out words, at a time when the sight and memory methods of learning to read were coming into vogue.  Phonics worked for me.  Once I learned to put the phonetics together, reading came quickly and easily and literacy has been one of the great loves of my life.

Being Patriotic. A junior high social studies and government  teacher and later a college professor in an American History 101 class, taught me what an amazing country this really is.  I don't know what their political views were, nor do I need to, because I know that both of these amazing teachers had an abiding respect for the founding fathers and faith in our Democratic Republic and the freedom it affords us.

Being a Leader. A high school journalism teacher taught me that I could organize and lead a group of nerdy high school students, and have fun doing it, when he made me editor of my high school newspaper.  He also helped me discover that I was a pretty good writer.

Being Lovable. My husband taught me that despite how I felt sometimes, I really was beautiful and worthy and lovable.  He is still doing that all these years later.

Being a Mom. My children all brought me love and joy.  They forced me to learn patience and showed me forgiveness after I stumbled as all parents do.  They taught me that life, and people, are not perfect, nor where they ever meant to me, but family is family.  We love always, let go when we must, but know that we are together even when we are apart, and will be eternally.  We are God's blessings to each other.

Being an Example. My grandchildren brought new life and the opportunity to examine the legacy I will one day leave behind.   Am I giving my grandchildren the gifts that others gave me?  Am I showing them, through my example, that I am grateful?  That I love God?  That I appreciate the wonderful joys and opportunities of being literate? That we have an amazing country that is truly One Nation Under God? That they have talents and that they are all beautiful and worthy and lovable? That we are family and belong to each other?  

Being a Friend.  Many, many wonderful friends (including my blogging friends) have offered me love and laughter, shoulders to cry on and listening ears.  My friends have given encouragement, advice, pleasantly unexpected visits, long phone calls, chatty lunches and lovely comments on my blog.   They have given me the gift of happy days.  I hope I have given something to them in return.  

I thank God for these blessings and many more that I can't put into words, don't think about much or maybe don't even recognize.  I am thankful for all of this stuff that really isn't stuff at all but abiding and eternal gifts. I am thankful for this really good stuff that make life worth living.

Happy Homemaker Monday

Tonight, I am joining with Sandra at Dairy of a Stay at Home Mom for Happy Homemaker Monday!

As I look outside my window:  It is dark outside now, but earlier today it was a perfect Arizona fall day - blue sky, white clouds, temperatures in the 70s. The weather for the rest of the week is looking good as well!   Update - shortly after I wrote this, I heard what sounded like thunder.  Hubby said no, it was simply someone taking their garbage out - but then the rain started and it is now pouring!

Right now I am: Doing a blog post having finished the last assignment for my current online class on autism. I start a new class on Friday - topic - teaching math to students with disabilities - the perfect topic for an English teacher.

Thinking and pondering:  About a busy week ahead and my children and their individual needs at this time in their lives.  Also thinking about a conversation I had earlier this evening with my birth mother who called for a chat, as well as all the interesting, frustrating, entertaining and even bizarre things that go on in a high school classroom over the course of the day.  Just when I think I've heard/seen it all, I hear/see something new.  

On my reading pile:  A book my son just finished and passed along to me - Between Heaven and Ground Zero by Leslie Haskin.  It is the eye witness account of the attack on the World Trade Center by a business woman who was on the 35th floor of Tower 1.   Josh is not a very avid reader at this point in his life and when he does read, it is usually a non-fiction book that he chooses.  When he makes a recommendation to me, I read the book right away so we can discuss it and so that I can reinforce how great reading is.  The last book he recommended to me was Let's Roll by Lisa Beamer.  Josh has always been interested in reading about what happened on 9/11/2001.  I think it's because this the events of this day are some of his earliest significant memories - much like I remember the day John F. Kennedy was shot.

On my computer:   familysearch.org is my new internet obsession.  Maybe obsession is the wrong word, but I think it is mighty interesting to see who and what is on my family tree.  I've been interested in family history for years and have done some research but this complete free sight takes genealogy research to the next level by connecting research from multiple sources.  I found one branch of my family that is documented clear back to the 1300s in Norway.  Other lines of both my husband and my family go back to the 1600s. For me, this is fascinating.

On the menu this week:  We had breakfast burritos tonight.  Tomorrow will probably be leftover lasagna. Another night will be slow cooker beef and mushrooms.    I'm not a huge menu planner, but we manage to get by and have a fairly nutritious, home cooked meal most evenings.

On my TV:  The only thing I have watched today is Joyce Meyer's program this morning and Judge Judy as I was cooking dinner tonight.  

On my to do list:  laundry, ironing, cleaning, starting a new online class at the end of the week.

Simple pleasure: Evening walks with my hubby and spending time on familysearch.org.

Looking around the house: Josh is playing a video game and hubby is working on progress reports for his students.  It will soon be time to call it a day.  

Lesson this week:  Do what you can and let God do what we can't, in His time.

From the camera: Some pictures from the weekend.

Friday Night Lights - our team was totally outgunned in this last game of the season. The other team was bigger and better.

The cheerleaders were still entertaining and I found out my son knows one of them - he met her at Especially for Youth at BYU a couple of years ago.

We left during the fourth quarter but the final score was 49 to 7 - not in our favor.  

No matter - it was still a nice mother-son Friday night date.

The Mesa Temple early Saturday morning.  I love the lighting effect of the rising sun on this beautiful old building.

 Freshly planted fall gardens at the Temple grounds.

 A Saturday craft project.  I painted this wooden tool box Josh made in Cub Scouts years ago.  I have a couple of ideas about possible uses.

The results of Saturday afternoon yard work trimming palm fronds.

Scripture of the Day:  

"By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if you have love one to another."

---John 13:35