The Kindness Challenge - Book Review

There is a life-changing power in being kind.  The Kindness Challenge - Thirty Days to Improve Any Relationship by Shaunti Feldhahn is a book that takes a close, even scientific look,  at the benefits of being positive and kind.  The author explores a number of research investigations showing that being kind actually makes human beings happier.  It makes the doer as well as the receiver of kind words and actions better, stronger, more contented people.  As the Christian author so aptly writes, “True kindness always strengthens and empowers, never weakens.  It changes you, not just others, It melts hardness and makes gentleness immensely powerful.”

The author encourages the reader to undertake a “30-Day Kindness Challenge,” to improve any relationship.  The challenge consists of three parts:

1. Say nothing negative about your person, either to them or to someone else.
2. Every day, find one positive thing that you can sincerely raise or affirm about your person and tell them, and tell someone else.
3. Every day, do a small act of kindness or generosity for your person.

This book goes step-by-step into how to eliminate negative, unkind habits and install gracious, generous, kind habits in their place.  Emphasis is on how this can really change marriages, but being kind makes all relationships better.  At the end of the book, the author includes “Daily Kindness Tips,” specifically broken down for wives to do for husbands, husbands for wives, and things to do to improve any relationship with anyone.  

Over 89% of those who participated in the kindness challenge, who were studied, felt that doing the three things outlined in the challenge, for at least 30 days,  improved their relationships.  With odds like that, I am definitely in.  I gave this book 5 stars ***** because if followed, it has the potential to be life-altering, in a positive way.  Highly recommended reading.  

Thanks to Blogging for Books and Penguin Random House Publishers for a free copy of the book in exchange for my honest review.   

The Things We Knew - Book Review

The Carlisle family, once very close, unravels when the mother dies in what is originally thought to be an accident, but may, in fact, be something more. Now, years later, the five siblings rarely see each other and their aging artist father is showing signs of Alzheimers. In addition, the family finances are failing as quickly as their father's memory. It is with this backdrop that the siblings assemble to decide the best course of action for their father and their dilapidated family home. As the siblings come together, secrets surface that may shatter the family and tear it apart forever, or through God's grace, help the siblings and those they love to forgive, heal and come back together in bonds of family love and unity.

The book is billed as a "Christian Romance" however the only reference to anything Christian is the occasional mention of God, praying and going to church. There does not seem to be any real background or reason for the faith of the characters except for the brief explanation that their mother took them to church for a short time during their childhood.

The premise and story line of this book isn't bad, however, I found it to be extremely over-written and slow moving. I actually finished two other books in the middle of trying to wade through this one. A page turner it was not. I felt like I was in the middle of a long and never-ending soap opera complete with cliche characters like the the drug-addict brother, the physically abused sister, the mentally-fragile sister with the boyfriend-next-door, and of course the minister/missionary brother who seems to bring salvation and healing with him as he belated swoops in from Africa along with the little African child he has adopted. The ending is predictable, but there is nothing objectionable or inappropriate in the book, which I appreciate.

The writing was OK, and I found that setting on Nantucket interesting, so I gave this book three stars ***, but I probably won't be going out of my way to read another book by this author.

I received a complimentary copy of this book for my honest review thanks to..

Evicted - Poverty and Profit in the American City - Book Review

My husband and I have had the goal, for several years now, of buying a second home as rental property.  Because of this, I was interested to read the book Evicted - Poverty and Profit in the American City, when I saw it offered as a review choice of Blogging for Books.   This fascinating book follows the poverty- stricken tenants of two landlords in some of the poorest inner-city neighborhoods of Milwaukee, Wisconsin.   

America’s poorest citizens are paying more than half of their income on often substandard and even dangerous housing and eviction has become a common event.  This book gives a close-up and personal look at those on both side of the housing crisis for the poor as well as the laws and public policy that have unwittingly made the problem worse.

The book follows eight individuals and families who, for various reasons, are living on the edge of society including a single mother trying to feed and raise two sons on the $20 a month she has left after paying rent; a gentle nurse whose life goes downhill when he becomes addicted first to pain killers and then heroin; a man with no legs who tries to work his way out of debt and look after a neighborhood full of boys that no one else seems to care about and a young mentally ill woman who opens her rundown home to a neighbor in need.  Home may be “where the heart is” but for these people it is also squalid, dangerous and over-priced. Their fates lie in the hands of two inner-city entrepreneur landlords who can be empathetic and compassionate but are more often impatient, uncaring and quick  to evict tenants who fall behind on rent.

This book is more than just the sad story of poverty stricken individuals and families who have made poor decisions and now can’t seem to get their lives back on track. This is the story of an entire segment of our American population who appear to be totally without hope or understanding of how to make their situation better.  Additionally, the old conservative, American virtues of hard-work and thrift, don’t seem to have any impact on these people.  They are stuck in an endless “catch-22” from which very few escape. Take for example, the story of a young single mother of three, who had a full-time job at a restaurant. The young woman was making her rent and even putting a bit aside in the hopes of going to school and becoming a nurse.  Then as the economy turned down in the mid-2000s, the woman’s work hours were cut from five days a week to one.  Fearing eviction from her squalid, run-down, over-priced apartment and desperate for money to pay her rent and buy new shoes for her son, she goes along with a friend and cousin who rob a store.  When she is caught, she is given the toughest sentence the judge can hand down. When she gets out of prison, the felony conviction will make it nearly impossible to find a job and a decent place to live.  Without the hope of an income and the security of a safe and healthy place to live, this woman, and many other like her are destined to become homeless and desperate again.  

The book points out, that at least in Milwaukee, government rent assistance programs have little impact on the poor.  Statics for 1991-2013, cited in the book, show that only about eleven percent of “renter households reporting a housing cost burden in excess of 100 percent of family income receive rent assistance, which may be ongoing or a single occasion.  Only five percent received assistance with paying for utilities.  Further, fifty-one percent of poor renting families were spending at least half of their income on housing costs and one-quarter were spending over 70 percent" (343-344).

One would think that rents in the the mostly inner-city areas where the very poor reside would be considerably less than more affluent areas of the city, yet rents in the poor areas are often as much or more than in more desirable places.  Ironically, government rent subsidies have allowed landlords to push the limit on rents.  The landlord also explains that rents are high because many of their low-income tenants tend to damage or destroy property, yet, in the stories in the books, the landlords fail again and again to correct dangerous, unsanitary and unhealthy conditions in their properties. Often the tenants will try to exert leverage by not paying rent until problems are fixed, but this plays into the landlord’s hands by allowing them to tack on late fees that put the poor tenants further and further behind and ultimately lead, in most cases, to the tenant being evicted.

Eviction takes a toll on the human spirit.  Those with eviction records have about double the rate of clinical depression and even suicides.  Losing a home and possessions often leads to job loss.  Children of eviction experience school moves and interruptions in their education that many never recover from.  An eviction record often leads to denial of government housing and food assistance, increased material hardship from loss of possessions, increased debt, relocation to worse housing in more dangerous neighborhoods, decline in health and homelessness.

The book profiles two women who meet in a homeless shelter after they have been evicted. The two, both single mothers, decided to become roommates and pool their resources in the hopes of being about to afford a better place in a better neighborhood. After looking at, applying for and then being rejected by landlords of 89 apartments, one landlord decides to give the women a chance.  The apartment is big and clean and in a better part of town than they have ever lived in.  For a few weeks, the women cannot believe their good fortune at living in such a nice place, but then a son of one of the women gets in trouble at school.  He kicks a teacher and then runs home. After the incident is reported and the police come to the apartment, the landlord gives the women a notice of eviction, thrusting them into homelessness again within a matter of weeks.  Having the police come to an apartment, no matter what the reason, almost ensure eviction.  Because of this, domestic violence, drug dealing and other crimes go on unchecked because renters don’t dare call the police.

The book points out that “the annual income of the landlord of perhaps the worst trailer park in the fourth-poorest city in America is thirty times that of his tenants working full-time for minimum wage and 55 times the annual income of his tenants receiving welfare or social security” (308).  Desmond explains that the failure previous public initiatives to provide housing for the poor, such as the massive public housing projects of the 1950s and 1960s, lead to the current system which relies private landlords in a largely self-regulating private housing market.  Landlords often know how to profit from the ironies and inefficiencies in the current system.  Some landlords look to rent solely in the inner-city where they can buy properties cheap and rent them high and provide minimal maintenance.  If one tenant doesn’t pay, simply evict them because there is always another person or family in desperate need of a place to live. As the author explains, there is a lot of money to be made off the poor.  The ‘hood is good [for business].” (306).

This isn’t to say that all landlord are always heartless, cruel and exploitative.  In Desmond’s book, he tells of landlords that sometimes buy good and Christmas gifts for down-on-their-luck tenants.  Some turn a blind eye when one evicted tenant with no place to go, moves in with another tenant in the same complex.  Landlords are business people who provide needed housing, but also have to provide a enough of a working margin to provide income for themselves and their families, however, when push comes to shove, it is the landlord who has the knowledge and means to manipulate the system in their favor.

In the epilogue of his book, Desmond explains that “the home is the center of life.  It is a refuge from the grind of work, the pressure of school and the menace of the streets” (291).  Home is where our civic life begins, where we plant our roots and learn to work together for a common good.  America is touted as the place where one can better him or herself, but  that is really possible only where there is a stable home, yet so many in our society, like those profiled in this book, find themselves in a place where stability in housing seems like an impossible dream.

This book does provide an important and illuminating look into the housing crisis faced by many in our society.  This used to be a problem unique to the very poor of our inner cities, but as the economic downturn of 2008-2009 proved, more and more middle class families now know what it is like to be evicted.  This excellent book allows the reader to look at this problem through the eyes of those who live it, and wonder if it might really be that “there but for the grace of God, go I.”  It was a worthwhile read for me, both as a potential landlord, and as the citizen of a free society that promises “liberty and justice for all.”

I give this book four out of five stars. **** I received this book free of charge from Blogging for Books in exchange for my honest review.

Lights Out - Book Review

This insightful, candid and downright troubling book by long-time "Night Line" host, Ted Koppel, deals with the not only possible but probable cyber attack that could take out our nation's electrical grid plunging our "plugged in" society into darkness and chaos. Koppel, a well-respected journalist, clearly sets for the case that those in government who should be planning for this catastrophic "act of war" by any one of a number of rouge nations or terrorists groups, are uninformed, unknowledgeable and confused.  Many simply appear not to know how to stop such an attack or how to ensure the survival of our citizens and society if an attack does happen. Through numerous interviews and analysis, Koppel builds the case that our nation is unprepared for a cyber attack and that, given the current state of affairs, there is actually almost no way to prepare for such an attack.  

While the book is less than 250 pages in length, it seems to be well-researched and credible.  Koppel almost gets bogged down in reporting numerous interviews with "officials" who should know about the threat of cyber attacks and how to prepare for and combat them, but in reality are not.  The fact that there are so many people who should be preparing for and fighting against this threat but are confused, conflicted or simply inept, is probably the scariest part of this book.  Outside of a few "preppers" in Wyoming and other parts of the west, and the Mormon Church, no one seems to have any idea of what to do and how to survive during a massive power outage that would affect much, much more than just our lights.

For me, the only disappointment in this book, (and it is a big one) is that Koppel gives very little insight into what, if anything, an "average citizen" can to do prepare for and survive an attack of this kind.  He describes and discusses the plans that some have, but then just as quickly points out the flaws in the plans.  I was hoping that at the end of the book, Koppel would include some basic survival tips, plans and supply lists, but other than what the reader gets from interviews with preppers and Mormons, there are none.  

I give Koppel four stars out of of five **** for this book, because he does do an admirable job of publicizing and explaining a dire threat to our society, but he does not inform the "average citizen" what, if anything he or she can do about it.  Perhaps that is because there is very little that each of us as individuals can do and, according to the book, those who are charged with protecting us are as confused and in the dark as we all will be if Koppel's warning comes true.

I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

Ties that Bind - Book Review

Ties That Bind by Cindy Woodsmall is a book about twenty-year-old Ariana Brenneman, a daughter of a large Amish family. Ariana loves the Old Order Amish community she has been raised in and is broken hearted when she discovers that one of her siblings plans to leave the Amish and abandon the traditional ways.  Ariana plans to open a café in historic Summer Grove and help keep her sister in the Amish fold, but raising money to buy the old café isn’t the only unforeseen roadblock she faces.  The secret aftermath of a fire that happened twenty years earlier at the time of her birth, surfaces and threatens to destroy Ariana, her family and all that she holds dear. 

I have read quite a few books about the Amish, and I really enjoy most of them, but I did not enjoy this book.  The conflicts and problems seemed contrived and unnatural. The characters were flat and not particularly likable.  The Amish faith and way of life was portrayed as something that needed to be escaped from, but the non-Amish, English characters were no better than the Amish.  Ariana’s Amish parents, sibling and boy friend seemed weak and incapable of doing anything without the consent and guidance of the ex-Amish man, Quill, who has been helping members of the church leave and join “English” society. The author tries to make Quill a hero of sorts in the story, but he comes across as more of a “rebel without a cause.”  We know that he was somehow romantically involved with Ariana when they were about 15-years-old, but we never really know why he “left the fold” with another girl, who he supposedly married, but really didn’t.  The reader also never finds out exactly why Quill “had no choice” but to leave the Amish and help others leave as well.  Maybe that is another mystery left to the next book in this series. I struggled to get through this 339  page book, only to discover that there was no real resolution to the main conflict at the end, and too many lose ends left dangling. Apparently, the reader will need to buy book two in The Amish of Summer Grove series to find out more, but I will not be one of them.  Ties That Bind was plenty for me.  I am not particularly interested in finding out how the story ends.

After I finished this book, I realized that I had read another book by Cindy Woodsmall, a few years back and didn’t like that one much either. 

I would give this book two stars ** out of five, so you can tell that I really didn’t like it much. 

Full disclose:  Blogging for Books provided me with a copy of the book to review, but my candid review and opinion is completely mine.