Jill Duggar was one of the older children (4th of 19 kids) of the Duggar family who became famous with the reality TV show 19 Kids and Counting and later Counting On. In this book, Jill gives the reader a glimpse of what it was like to grow up in a very conservative Christian and very large family and have much of her childhood, teen years and young adulthood filmed and shown on TV to millions of viewers.
Jill not only describes the pressure of having the lives of her and her family exposed to millions, but she also gives us an inside look into the troubling world of the IBPL (Institute of Basic Life Principles), the conservative Christian organization that the Duggars were key members of. The IBLP leader, Bill Gothard, taught “principles” that, among other things, required members to have as many children as they possibly could, use no birth control and homeschool their children. Women were not to hold jobs outside the home, and they were to remain under the control and authority of their husbands. They could not even wear pants or swim wear. Even married adult children were to allow their parents to have control of their lives.
Jill explains how every aspect of her life, even as a young married adult, was controlled by her father’s demands that she continue to be an unpaid part of his reality TV show. Her father also demanded that she adhere to IBLP rules and principles as she married and raised her own family. After it became widely known that Jill’s older brother and first-born Duggar sibling, Josh, had molested his sisters, Jill’s life was turned upside down. As Josh’s misconduct evolved into criminal activity, it became clear that her father, Jim Bob Duggar’s, priorities were protecting his wealth-producing show, and his son Josh, who, in addition to molesting four of his sisters and other girls, was convicted of downloading child pornography and sent to prison in 2022.
I gave this book 5/5 stars on Goodreads because I thought that Jill told her story in an honest and forthright way. She tells us the good and the bad of growing up Duggar, and of living in an extremely strict and rule-bound Christian family. She acknowledges many positive things about her parents and upbringing, but also brings light to the darker side of the IBLP and it's adherents. This book was not just a family “tell-all” although a lot about the family and specifically Jill’s relationship with her parents is revealed. The book explains the harm that the show and IBLP way of life did to the Duggars and their children. Another sister, Jinger Duggar Vuolo wrote a book which came last year (2022). I read that book as well, but didn’t like it as well as Jill’s book. Jinger’s book focused on deconstructing the strict IBLP religious beliefs she was raised with, and largely stayed clear of Duggar family drama, especially the drama involving older brother Josh. Jill’s book is more authentic and doesn’t leave out or dance around some of the truly dysfunctional and problematic issues in the family. I would recommend Jill’s book, Counting the Cost, for anyone who watched the Duggars and is interested in the inside story of this Christian family, that seemed picture perfect for a time, but was actually as flawed and human as the rest of us. I read the hardbound version of this book which I got from my local library.
That's all for this month. I sure hope I get more books read in November, but until then, happy reading!
Until next time,
📚Deb📚
"So many books, so little time."
~Frank Zappa
